Well here we are at 3am on day 2 of the night shift. I sit here in my chair (same chair different room) listening to the cacophony of noise around me. Apparently, we’ve been moved to the more “vocal” side of the hospital. It’s reminding me of a Brian Regan stand up routine. Everyone trying to out moan each other.
An example? Thought you’d never ask. To start,┬áthis poor woman across the hall keeps shouting out made up conversations. Although I feel sorry for her and her conditon some of them are danged funny! I awoke from a very shallow sleep to the sound of “look out! That baby gonna pee on me! Don’t let that baby pee on me..he gonna get his a** whipped!”
Then there is the gentleman directly across the hall. I call him “music man” . For whatever reason someone thought it a good idea to give this man a bell. You know, the kind of bell you ring when you’re at the counter and need some service. Music man likes to ring it a few times every 15 minutes or so. Just to remind us he’s there.
Then there’s “angry guy”. Fortunately he’s asleep now. However beware! He takes a huge offense to his door being open,(even though every room door in the entire building is open) and will not hesitate to use a string of f-bombs to make you aware of his displeasure.
And last but certainly not least is “constant moaning guy”. ┬áHis act? Well..it’s just that. He moans constantly.
Now I do feel sorry for these people. I REALLY do. But there is a part of me that wants to record all this and re-mix it together with a catchy backbeat. Maybe I’ll call it “Groovin’ at the Group Home” or “That Baby Gonna Pee on Me” for short.

I don’t want to get old

quandt

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